There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
