Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
