My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Bang-toberfest begins!!
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
And then he peed in my hair
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