I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
