so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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