I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
