She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
