so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
