their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Randomize
