if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
