so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
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