so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
love makes seman taste better
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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