i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
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