You smell like a Billy Joel song
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
foreskin is a definite game changer
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
