dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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