I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
