I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
