dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
