he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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