I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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