I'm drive I can fine osifer
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
