M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Randomize
