By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
as a side note pls kill me
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
