I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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