I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
