The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
