he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Randomize
