I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
