a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
