That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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