could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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