Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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