Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
