There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Randomize
