Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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