The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I think my vagina is haunted
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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