people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
