DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Randomize
