Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I'm experimenting with sincerity
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
