Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
