I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
