My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
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