he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
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