Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Can't talk, ducks in the car
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
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