Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
