I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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