just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
