If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
