apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
