Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
