Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Someone shit on the floor
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Randomize
