This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
