Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
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